I am so thankful for the extra day off from work this week. Just perfect timing. If you have to work today, thank you. You are appreciated.
Instead of going into the office I am going to take one of the dogs down to the parade. Joe Biden will be town, riding in the parade. Wonder if that will make it more crowded than normal.
I love parades. For some reason they give me some goofy patriotic surge. Especially when the fire trucks or the marching bands go by. For a city girl, I suddenly feel small town. And I like it.
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In May I went to Philly to meet a bunch of bloggers I had read for a long time and many that I had never even heard of. I’ll be honest and say that I barely read Lisa, of Clusterfook, before TequilaCon. Yet when I met her it felt as though I had known her forever. As most of you know, she is battling cancer again, for the third time. Too weak from chemo for parades and parties, Lisa will be home, recovering from another round of poison sent to destroy the cancer. Yet even Sunday while terribly sick she is thinking of those of us out here in the blogosphere. This I know because she sent me this wonderful little button:
I wish I knew how to make the button take you HERE when you clicked on it, but alas I am oh so not technically gifted. Point is, there are early warning signs. Signs that are so easily overlooked. Being familiar with these signs may assist in early detection. Please take a moment out of your day and click over for the quick reading.
This is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. When you see a teal ribbon, will you say a prayer for my friend Lisa? I would really enjoy the opportunity to hang out with her again.
This past weekend I learned a bunch! Please learn from my terrific experiences…
- Stay outside during a hot summer rain in New York City
- If your tour bus guide is so boring that you want to fall asleep, don’t fight it and just fall the fuck asleep
- Being called a piece of heaven can make your entire day
- When you get caught between the moon and New York City, the best that you can do is eat street meat
- When you are sad your friends will be there to hold you
- When a cockroach crawls across your table, your friends will brush it to the floor and do an Irish jig on its ass, then ensure that you don’t pay for your meal
- When you are dehydrating after walking for a brazillion NYC blocks, a paramedic friend will buy you water at Starcocks, steal chairs to rest your weary feet and tell funny stories to ensure that you don’t pass out
- When meeting for the first time, excellent new friends will buy you t-shirts and hats
- When you on the Empire State Building’s 86th floor, friends will twat that they are with you at the top of the world and you truly will feel that you are
- When you decide to make out with a man who looks like Syler from Heroes while on a Greenwich Village sidewalk, your friends will lose their shit on you if they don’t know where you are
- When on a New York subway you will be shocked at how clean it is, plus you will be happily surprised with all of the nice people (some of which who will even offer to take your photo without stealing your camera)
- Hot dogs from a street vendor taste delicious with onions and mustard
- Monet is just as gorgeous in the Met
- If one takes photos in a NYC tunnel, one will get scolded by the cabbie
- If one takes photos in the Superheroes exhibit, one will get scolded by a nutjob
- Grand Central Station has surprisingly delicious food in the food court
- The Chrysler Building is probably the most beautiful building that I have ever seen
- One’s legs won’t actually fall off from hours of walking around NYC
- Purses are dirt cheap in NYC’s Chinatown
- Tour buses are a magnificent way to learn a bunch about a city and offer a great way to take photos without feeling like a fool
- That a great male friend will leave the hotel room immediately after awakening if one needs to get dressed after a shower
- Times Square tourists need to get the fuck outta my way when I am walking
- Don’t let Britt do shots of water before eating ice cream or her belly will hurt
- Payless Shoes in NYC is totally different from any other Payless
- Bagels in NYC really are the best bagels in the history of ever
- Jews don’t work on Saturday, Italians don’t make pizza on Sundays
- Gay Pride parades make me proud to simply be alive
- No matter how much men say that shopping for make up is fine, they really and truly hate it
- Stealing tons of clean towels and a gross of washcloths from the cleaning person’s cart can turn a shitty hotel room stay into a fun adventure
- I love New York, especially with terrific people
Ok, there is a ton more, but I am exhausted (damn bowling and ass spanking and beer and all) so I will have to write more later in the comments or something.
A ton of photos to follow…
I am in San Antonio for work until early Thursday and I am too whupped to really write a post today. Certainly there are a shit ton of things to talk about, mostly all the fond memories from TequilaCon that are still floating in my brain, but seeing as how so many others are recapping the festivities so well I will just apologize for giving you this little “hi!” and running. So, Hi!! (and Sorry!)
Oh wait! I have to tell you a quick story that cracked me up. My coworker and I are working the trade show reception hard on Tuesday night. we do the whole Divide and Conquer. So here we are, meeting lots of great contacts, kicking ass and taking names, when he comes up to me all pissy like. Immediately I ask what is wrong and he says he is mad at me, but “we’ll talk about it later.” Oh fuck no. You got an issue with me buddy, we will straighten that shit out now. Right. Now.
ANYhow, we step aside from the crowd and it turns out that his issue was that every time he reached into his pocket for a business card to hand to a new contact he was pulling out one of the condoms that Avitable gave out in Philly. We both burst out into hysterical laughter and went back for more new people. So thanks for the smiles, Adam. I’m glad I took your condoms. (And so is the little boy at the gas station when I was on the PA turnpike. When I went to pay for my gas I saw one and said, “Hey, if someone gave you this at a party, would you take it or tell them to fuckoff?” He got a huge grin and said that he’d love one. Of course at that point I told him to keep Avitable’s condom, to use its lubricated goodness in good health and to check out Adam’s site. Maybe a new reader?)
Several Marker’s Mark bourbon and ginger ales after the coworker condom incident and I was back in my room, finally sleeping for about 11 hours straight. Thank God! I’m off to shower, see the Alamo and get my trade show booth set up.
Wow, lookie up there. I did sorta post up there. Wahooo!
I am to be on an early morning flight to San Antonio for work. There is laundry to be done (although contrary to what Adam might tell you, even the spin cycle doesn’t make me excited for laundry) and packing to be completed (read as “started”). Yet what have I done all fucking night? Read blogs and Twats. Yep, “wasted” my night with laughter at all of the internet friends that I was finally able to put skin on.
So much of me wants to write about our adventures in Philly, but I really think you need to go digging around for stories yourself. Like a scavenger hunt. Doing so myself has brought me to laughter filled tears several times tonight and I haven’t even gotten to half of the blogs of the folks I met at TequilaCon. Sure, part of me knows this is a copout, but the other part knows that a) these fuckers are much funnier than I am, b) I gotta get some shit done around here before I am out all week traveling and c) I sure as hell don’t wanna be the one telling stories that I shouldn’t be tellin!
Start here and be sure to make jumps from the comments: nycwd, poppy, adam, britt, karl, hilly, shiny, black belt momma, jen, dave2, metalmomma, shelli, finn
How about I am already looking forward to next year’s West Coast adventure. Bring it on. Just so long as I don’t have to room with Karl. (Maybe by then I will know how to get Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” to play whenever I write about Karl’s late night adventures.)
I wonder if now that I met these people in “real” life, now that I have hugged them, broke bread with them, raised many a glass with them, if now I can officially refer to them as “my friends” and not have people I have known for years think I am crazy. Like Popeye I am what I am, but it really should not have to do with my love of my internet posse. Sweet, sweet posse. hehe…Hilly has ruined me on that phrase. And I love it.
P.S. I am curious if any TequilaCon participants made it out for Margaritas on Cinco or if enough was enough…
EDITED TO ADD: Ok people. Seriously. If you don’t go to Karl’s to read his pee your pants recap or over to Adam’s to watch the video that includes a mighty might penis being whipped out into my face or over to Dawg’s place to read about the Avitasuite or over to Britt’s to see photos, then you can all suck it. This is funny, funny stuff here people!
What kind of dumb fuck doesn’t bring a camera to an event like TequilaCon? Yeah, that would be me. Dammit. There were some amazing moments that I have in my brain (and forever immortalized on twitter), however I am so sad that I don’t have em on film. Well, not that anyone uses film these days, but you know what I am getting at.
Thankfully just about everyone else had cameras. And iPhones. Hopefully they will all tag their Flicker photos so we can all enjoy the pleasure that was Philly’s 2008 TequilaCon.
Quick highlights of this weekend:
- laying in bed with Britt and Adam, while Hilly took photos
- Hilly falling and crotch elbowing Adam
- meeting a bunch of awesome bloggers
- Hilly licking a monkey tattoo onto my boob
- Karl walking into a wall
- Karl whipping out cock AND ass about an hour ago
- seeing how cute Poppy and Dawg are together
- the horse drawn carriage ride around Philly with Karl, Hill and Britt
There are tons of stories, but seeing as how it is almost 3:30 and I need to go see whatever Jester posted from the phone calls, I will talk with you again tomorrow.
xoxo
(This photo was from towards the end of the party…Britt had a bunch of drinks and needed a nap. Apparently my boobs are comfy.)
