Still Not Here
Ξ May 10th, 2010 | → 23 Comments | ∇ ramblings |
I have so much to share and yet absolutely nothing to to talk about. A while ago an ugly internet situation (which didn’t even involve me) reinforced how much this community of “friends” can turn on you if you make a mistake and people don’t agree with how you handle the aftermath. The power of the written word is mighty. I watched in horror as folks took to anonymity in order to slam and talk about a few others, saying dreadful things which didn’t even pertain to the original situation, all from the safety of behind their keyboard.
Most seemed to think that because two people blog and share lots that somehow they MUST share everything. It was as though because someone chooses to share about lots of good things and a few flaws that somehow they were expected to share every flaw…in detail. So many people not only expected it, but actually demanded it.
It wasn’t the first time I saw it happen. The first time crushed my heart and made me doubt that I would ever blog again. I wailed online about the injustice, the name calling, the bullshit of it all. This time? This time still broke my heart, but it also took a lot of wind out of my sails. More than I realized, it crushed my spirit.
So I guess I mentioned that situation and how it made me feel in some sort of way to explain why Midnight Cliff has been on the silent side. But yes, I am alive and actually quite happy. In the past month that I haven’t posted here I’ve been to a Bags, Bellinis and Brunch fundraiser where I bought a new license plate purse from Little Earth, I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with Coal Miner’s Granddaughter and Copasetic Beth, I’ve been enjoying the Penguins playoff series, I’ve had a trip to Nashville canceled as a result of the terrible flooding, I’ve had the pleasure of being gifted with a VIP ticket to the Wine Festival where I consumed wine with a price tag of over $600 per bottle, I’ve attended my favorite trade show and partied with some tremendous people, I’ve laughed so hard at Benihana that my sides hurt, I’ve enjoyed the 90th birthday party for my dear great aunt, I’ve had hot dates, I’ve spent incredible time outside with the dogs, I’ve dined with fellow bloggers, I’ve had followup testing to confirm that February’s surgery healed properly, I’ve started planning my 40th birthday adventure to Alaska for next summer, I’ve enjoyed the Kentucky Derby, I’ve booked a cooking class, I’ve been thrilled to hear that a friend was invited to speak at BlogHer, I’ve started planning my next adventure in Kentucky, I’ve had heartache, I’ve had questions, I’ve celebrated Cinco de Mayo, I’ve dreaded Mother’s Day, I’ve searched for contractors to put a new roof on my house and to rebuild my falling down fence, I’ve enjoyed time with family and friends, I’ve accomplished lots at work, I’ve considered painting my house, I’ve welcomed spring as over 50 robins worm hunting signaled it FINALLY arrived, I’ve dined on gourmet food, I’ve been involved with planning committee meetings for a fun raising golf outing and I’ve done lots more.
But none of it seems to make me want to write about it. There are some fun stories in those things that I’ve done in the past month. Twitter has given me an outlet to share some of it, but I just don’t feel like sharing here. Maybe because I know that no matter how positive I am and no matter how I try to do the right things, well, maybe someday the Internet will demand more from me than I want to give. Maybe the Internet will find some mistake I made and not agree with how I choose to handle it so they will decide to pick up their torches and pitchforks instead of just talking to me about it so that we can work through it.
I know I’m rambling, which is kind of funny for a post where I tell you I have no desire to write. Not sure what to do about that. Guess basically I’ll wrap up with this: I’m happy and healthy, enjoying life, but have zero writing mojo.
Hope it returns. I do still love this little blog.