I’ve been pretty bad about posting on a regular basis this month. While I know there is no apology needed for letting life, work and travel take their place at the top of the priority list, I still want to say I’m sorry for being so absent from here and from your blogs. I don’t feel quite like Me when I am not reading about your lives and when I am not sharing mine.
As you probably remember, two weeks ago I was in Vegas for a convention. The hotel messed up and gave me a magnificent suite. I was on top of the world. After only being home for two wonderful and whirlwind days, Mother’s Day I jumped on a plane for Georgia to attend a sales meeting a few hours outside of Atlanta. More fun, more friends, more food, more booze, more laughter.
Until late Monday night, after a night of large quantities of vodka, when my Cinderella informs me that she has been offered a job at her old company for tens of thousands of dollars more than she is making now. It took everything I had not to throw up right there. This past year I have come to rely on Cinderella, to trust her, to know how she will react in situations. The thought of us not working together physically hurt. I love her enough to never want to hold her back, but I really didn’t want to see her go. And the poor woman was torn as to what decision to make.
The next afternoon Cinderella was getting on a plane to return to Pittsburgh while I was headed west to Reno. Not so easy to sing praises of her current job when she was covering for my trade show hopping self for two weeks. I spent a day in bed, depressed. Cried more than I wanted to because I knew the inevitable phone call would arrive. Even a Penguins win against the Caps couldn’t truly lift my spirits. Tried to drown my sorrows in booze, but my body wasn’t cooperating. Then a friend who I haven’t seen in a year suggested we go back to my suite to take photos for HNT. Well shit, that certainly wouldn’t hurt!
Initially it was my desire to have him photograph me, but somehow I convinced him to jump in my Jacuzzi tub (yep, I had another suite!). Here are a few of the fun shots from that shoot…
Hands are my favorite part of a man’s body.
Then again, legs are certainly wonderful. 
Almost out of water. So sad.
Bye bye, bubbly water. 
Brave man to let me post my favorite shot, eh?
After the bubble filled Jacuzzi, he asked if he could shower in my awesome bathroom. I said yes and asked if I could take more photos. Turns out someone is an exhibitionist at heart!
Great back shot. 
Looks like I was in there with him, doesn’t it?
Nope! I was fully clothed. See my my pants? 
There were a few other opportunities to do HNT photos shoots with some other guys at the trade show, but the stars never really lined up. Then again, there is always next year! Never turned the camera on me, either. Dammit! One of these days.
And next week I will post the photo that was emailed to me the day we were all going home. Seems one of the smoking hot guys I am friends with enjoys photos. Le rowl! Perhaps I can convince him to email me more pictures between now and next week’s post.
If anyone else wants me to post anonymous photos of them, feel free to email me.
For more HNT fun, head over to where it all started.
Wednesday morning I found out that a coworker sent an email to the big, big bosses that painted two of my other coworkers in a negative light. While I understood the idea behind the email, the manner in which Steve went about trashing the other two was incredibly unacceptable to me.
Which means I lost my shit. Damn nastygram email flew from my fingers. Naturally that led to a reply from Steve.
Annnnnd then I again went up one side and down the other of the poor man. His reply didn’t stand a chance and finally one of the big bosses stepped in with a firm “ENOUGH!”
I knew I hadn’t lost that one and was immediately willing to forgive and forget. So were the coworkers who had been trashed (thankfully grudges don’t last long in my world).
Next thing Steve knew was his printer fired up on its own and generated the following message:
hehe. I love my Cinderella Christina. Man, I’m gonna miss her. That drawing was the perfect way to end a crazy day. (Yes, we let Steve know that we set it up so she can print to his machine.)
Just wanted to stop over here to say thanks to everyone who sent a text or email or called to make sure I am ok. Reno is my last trade show stop and then it is back home where I can catch up with all of you. Until then, I am working and hanging in here.
XOXO
I still really, really miss my Momma.
Twitter needs a breathalyzer. Seems my ridiculous ramblings led to me receiving this message:
Congrats @hellohahanarf. You’ve won the first Weekend Drunk Twit of the Night award! We’re so proud. Keep on celebrating! #Drunktwitaward
Yep, there is a Twitter account that sent out this message:
Seen any funny drunk tweets? We’re looking for the best drunk twitterer tonight. Send your nominations to @WeekendDrunk #Drunktwitaward
So, which one of you fuckers turned me in to the Weekend Drunk folks?
Anyhow, back to my ramblings. They are below. You might want to start at the bottom, though. (My favorite? When I scream in all caps to the internet that I didn’t take advantage of the bartender who had a shift conveniently end while I was at his bar. I was flirting shamelessly and he said he wanted to see my sweet suite’s hot tub and that he would love to “party” with me.) So here we go…witness the ugly typos and drunken ramblings of a woman on her last night in Vegas:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i hear the thump thump allure of the Voodoo lounge. PEace, i’m out!! GOtta run upstairs with the beautiful people.
@quirkysarah Always., Just running around the hote/lcasino and trying not t o bang hot guys. AIn’t easy!!
@quirkysarah HIC! (I loev me some VODKA of the Ketel variety)
@mindymin Pssshaw. No tylenol necessaryh. A giant glass o watern and some more water. wheeeee!
HEY INTERNET, I DIDN”T FUCK THAT GUY FROM THE BARR. OI kmnow you werea ll worried. we are good!!@
i think i get a better conscious the more i drink cozz seriously i do.
@mindymin I meant to say “shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and i’m sorrry abiout all that ggggg stuff. !
@mindymin ggggggggggggggggggggggggg
@mtoast99 Don’t even sarart this game. Who’s on first. I don’t know. Third base bitcvh!!!!!!!!!!!
@GingerSnaps After all you do, I just hate that you have to deal with his stuupidass coz he sounds like a douche.
what?
@GingerSnaps Drunk girl says Nurseboy can show the pin and certificate later. Him a douchebag. Then again, I haVE been drinking.
@GingerSnaps Aftger his receint behavior? Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahkk him. SERIOUSLY.
@mtoast99 Well…ummmmmmmmm. Your face looks funnnier when I am drink. So tghere! hehe. ummmm. YEAH!
@Iron_Fist Oh don’t tempt me ,myfriend. it won’t be pretty. TURST ME!@
If drunk girl ,me shouldn’t have been Twitteringt earlier, imagine how much I shouldn’t me sending updaegts now. bitches. hehe
http://twitpic.com/4p7p4 – Indian dinner. Yum!!!
@sybillaw wish I knew why you thnik I amn funny! Xoxo
Ok, I sant spell Smithwick’s, but the Pens score!!!
What the fuck piece of shit Irish bar runs out of Smitheick’s? Seriously!
OK, I will blow who I have to blow…Let’s go pens!!!
It might be over. My hot bartender likes Crown.
http://twitpic.com/4owhu – Old fart from Buffalo who loves the Burgh
@burghbaby OK. That is it. I am going for it. Slap my ass and call me a cougar!!!
@burghbaby so if I ravish him, I can somehow blame your married, mommy self? Please say yes!! (He is adorable!)
Does everyone think they are going home with the hot young bartender, or am I really skirting the insane reality? I blame the sweet suite.
@quirkysarah turn on VS, silly. Pens are down and need you.
@Faiqa I have no doubt that you GLOW and don’t sweat. And I would love to see you all pretty and pregnant. Maybe soon…
@Faiqa Are you fucking kidding me? You are one of the most gorgeous & stunning people I know. And I know some gorgeous people!!!
Dear Pittsburgh Penguins, please commence to kicking ass and making my town proud. And help me play with this little boy. Thanks. XOXO, B
@burghbaby Love the new Twitter avatar!
Seriously hitting on cute bartender. Bad Becky. At least he was smart enough to put on the Pens game! (That means he wants me, right?)
@jonrandahl I am up! Whoooooo! (That means I am drinking in Vegas & flirting with the bartender.)
@mindymin DEAL!! Things settle down around the 18th. P.S. I am at an “Irish” bar that is out of Smithwick’s…how fucking sad is that??!?!
@jonrandahl oh…and HI!!!!
@jonrandahl Yes what is?
@snackiepoo Not only am I real, but tomorrow’s HNT was censored for you!
@BEFinn If you promise that the only time I will be on camera is to make out with @dutch_bitch, then I wholeheartedly agree.
@BEFinn Live video stream? Fuck. Is it too late to change my RSVP? Maybe this is a party I need to skip!
@mindymin you make me laugh. one of these days we are gonna have beers together, dammit!
So as you know I am here in Vegas, staying in the sweetest suite I have ever stepped foot into. The trade show I am working afforded me MANY free drinks and I found myself more than slightly intoxicated the other night. Somehow it made perfect sense at the time, but I grabbed the camera and headed for the ridiculously huge bathroom. Clothing was off, leaving a trail through the bedroom and to the mirrors. Turns out that when I am drunk I think I am artistic. Here’s the result.
Yeah, trying to take the photo over my shoulder while being kind of drunk wasn’t easy. I probably should have cropped out a good portion of the top that is all hair. And yet I decided I liked the way you could sort of only sort of see me, therefore my lazy and drunk self deemed the photo “artistic” and successful. Then I went on to shoot some more.
Did i mention how difficult it is to do this stuff alone with mirrors while drunk? Yeah, one of these days I’ll get some help with the stupid camera part. What started out as an ok idea turned out to look like I am sniffing my armpit. While I was drunk and taking these photos I got all confused because my Strong Woman tattoo is actually on my right shoulder, but the mirror image shows it on the left in these pictures. Turtle is on the wrong side, too. Yeah, WAY too much for someone who drank enough Ketel One to kill a horse.
Didn’t stop me though. I took a bunch of photos and not a one of them really came out good. See?
I accidentally cut off a good portion of my body, yet sure did get plenty of shower door and my hair is taking over the right side of the image. Sheesh.
When trying to get a decent self portrait I started to laugh at the absurdity of what I was doing. Especially since I was totally naked, taking photos for Half Nekkid Thursday. At one point I was sort of shaking my head at my own self. I think that is when I snapped this one…
I took some breast shots as well, but I wanted this post to be @snackiepoo friendly so I’ll save them for another post. Should you decide that you can’t wait, email me and I’ll send them to you.
Hope your day is wonderful. I head back home to Pittsburgh and reality around 2 PM Vegas time. As much as I will miss maid service and my sweet suite, I am eager to get back to the Burgh. Next week’s HNT will either be shots from Georgia or Reno, NV. Maybe both! (I leave for GA late on Sunday, then go from there to another trade show in Reno until the following Sunday. Should be plenty of time for photos…and perhaps I can even get someone to work the camera or to be in front of it!)
P.S. I probably should apologize for any typos, grammar errors and all around blatant misspelled words. You know I am drinking when I type this so you expected it, right?
And a further drunken PPS
This is the photo with a hopefully better crop, but still the fun hair filter.
Hi. Drunk girl blogging.
Just left a dinner with 1400 people. Food was great, drinks were Ketel One (thank you, Rio for knowing that I love me some Ketel), I picked an incredible table of people to sit at and the entertainment was awesome. Frank Caliendo (you might know him from Sunday football or from his “Frank TV”) performed and was fantastic. Love his Madden stuff seeing as how I hate Madden. Anyhow, all around great start to the night. In a few minutes I have to go back out and meet up with some contacts from this trade show, but I figured I would take a minute to show you the insane suite someone is probably getting fired for giving me.
My living room. 
My hot tub and massage table.
My bedroom has a couch. 
Ok. Seriously? The fucking wireless card that works great everywhere ain’t working here. Taking entirely too long for me to upload photos or do anything here. Besides, you don’t want to see a bunch of photos of my suite that you aren’t partying in. If I would have known the ridiculously huge suite I would be staying in, I would have asked you all to come out and play. Dammit!
Anyhow, back to my problem…I need someone with more technical savvy than me to answer a question. Is it possible for the casino to send out some sort of block that makes my wireless card maddeningly slow? My Blackberry won’t / can’t access Twitter or the internet and my wireless card for the lappy top crawls. I think these bastards want me to pay for their internet and I refuse. Which means it will take forever and a half for the HNT photos to upload. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Oh well. I refuse to worry about it now. Gonna go back out and meet some folks from the trade show. Maybe head up to the VooDoo lounge, maybe watch folks play craps. I like craps because I get to yell a bunch and generally act like a fool. (No surprise there.)
Happy day.
I arrived safely in Vegas only to check into the nicest suite I have ever stepped foot into. The damn thing has more square footage than my house does. There are two Jacuzzi tubs…one in the Master bath and then a huge one for parties in the other wing. Also in the Jacuzzi party room? A massage table. Not even shitting you.
I have a rather large wet bar, a massive living room with two full size couches in front of the floor to ceiling windows, a full sized dining room, a full size kitchen with a regular fridge even though the bar has a mini fridge. That doesn’t include the mini bar fridge in my bedroom. Did I mention that my bedroom has its own couch? Yeah.
What the fuck? Someone made a major mistake. I am not supposed to have this incredible room.
Did I mention the entire thing has floor to ceiling windows? Part of the suite overlooks other casinos and the other part offers a nice view of the pool, one of which is clothing optional. Where is my zoom lens??!?!
Before the dinner meeting I took a soak in the little Jacuzzi. All I could see through the windows was mountains. Just gorgeous.
Maybe Vegas is trying to get me to not hate it so much?
(Photos will arrive soon…too drunk and tired to screw with downloading pictures now.)
My favorite Billy Boy is in town for his 20th high school reunion. I am about six months younger than him and was shocked that this is the year for my 20th. Damn, time sure has a way of flying. Or as Dolly Parton says in Steel Magnolias, “Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face.” hehe
Anyhow, Billy and I were sitting around trying to make my Blackberry do an autosignature that says the email was sent from the fucking phone so folks know I am not being short in my replies while I am on the road for the next two weeks. We were talking about all kinds of stuff and I mentioned the trying to go without electricity at home for a few days.
Oh how I wish that you all could have heard his loud and deep belly laugh.
Which reminds me…last night I broke the no electricity thing for The Office and 30 Rock. But then I turned the TV off! I only cheated a little. Kind of like just kissing, touching and a little oral, but no actual penetration. Or, ummm, something like that.