Tuesday was one of the craziest days in recent memory. Please know that I am not talking about good and fun crazy, I am talking about work and personal life blowing my fucking mind to the point that I don’t know what is up. At this time I am not at liberty to discuss too much, but a few things need to be said:
I am loyal to those I love. Fiercely loyal. God help the one who hurts those I love.
Do not cross me or get in my way when those that I care about need to be protected.
While I am not quite 37, and do not claim to have all of the answers, I still have a little wisdom.
As much as I want to choke loved ones who are do not doing things the way I would, the fact remains that I certainly can respect decisions made that aren’t the decisions that I would have made.
When the pieces fall, I will be one of the first to arrive with a broom to gather all of the remnants.
Until everything your way falls apart, please only expect of me what I can give. I have my personal limitations.
(I am exhausted from crying and need to go to bed. Don’t worry about not commenting today, I know that I am being a tad cryptic with today’s ramblings. I have to be, at someone’s request. Know that I am sad and scared and concerned and overwhelmed, yet honored that I was brought into a situation where I will do all that I can to assist. Praying for me and those involved in this situation would be appreciated.)
My dear sweet bright futured woman, you are loved. NO MATTER WHAT. No. Matter. What.
I am still wearing my shades, because I truly feel that your future is that bright. I love you.
Why do we spend our good money on items that advertise for someone else? I do it all the time…the Harley watch, the Maker’s Mark hat, the t shirt from the Dead Dog Saloon in Myrtle, the Life is Good flip flops. Sometimes I am a walking billboard. I would have killed to win one of Dave2’s t-shirts or hats, but I would have broke down and bought one if I didn’t win. (Good news is that I won a shirt…yay!)
Anyone who has ever flown to Pittsburgh will notice a good portion of the plane’s passengers are wearing Steelers gear…sweatshirts, hats, t-shirts, whatever. They might have on Penguins or Pirates logos, but usually it is Steelers stuff, regardless of the season.
Considering as much as I do it myself, I still don’t understand it. Well, I totally get the black and gold pride so I can appreciate the gearing up for a flight home, but what about the corporations we advertise for? We pay VERY good money for some of the items we walk around in, yet do those companies show us any love? Do we get any breaks in prices of the gear? Oh hell no.
I looked at the photo below which taken at a friend’s recently and couldn’t believe what I saw. Me in the special edition St. Patrick’s Day Penguins hat (oh so not cheap, even after the High Holy Day) and a wonderfully thick Harley Davidson anniversary sweatshirt, holding Maker’s Mark soaked cherries that I bought at the distillery a few weeks ago. What you can’t see is the Harley Davidson reversible belt that I was also wearing. Watch, too. What was I thinking?
Damn it, I am no better than anyone else with this Walking Billboard crap. Can someone play shrink for a day and tell me why we willingly do this? Why we whore ourselves out in this manner?
Next thing you know we will be bagging our own groceries. Oh wait, that is another pet peeve for another day…but at least I don’t do that one.
What a fun, internet filled Sunday. Jester seemed to be on every BTR show but Karl’s today. And the man was on a roll. Not being folks to let a good thing go to bed at a reasonable hour, we found another show to crash, but this time the folks didn’t know us. Othurme, Shiny, Winter, Jester and I immediately started discussing bacon houses and other topics in the chat room while Jester dialed the phone. Damned if they didn’t welcome him into the conversation! Too bad next Sunday isn’t available for more Jester Rolling.
Since I mentioned bacon, especially for my dear friend Othurme, I give you all, the Bacon Bra:
Speaking of Othurme, every time I holler JACKIE CHAN! on Twitter or in a chat room he replies CHUCK NORRIS. Except that he doesn’t understand why it is so terribly funny. I’m certain that this little explanation probably won’t be as funny as if you were there for the original conversation, but I’ll try to explain it anyhow.
See, we were talking about sexual positions and various sexual acts. Someone mentioned the Shocker. It sort of went downhill from there and That Guy hollered “Jackie Chan” as he did a sort of karate chop that involved four fingers held tightly together being thrust forward. For some reason (beer) I found this absolutely hysterical. I mean, the Shocker is funny, but this was something I had never heard of. And I couldn’t quit laughing. My response was, “Ouch! If anyone ever tried to do that to me, I would go all Chuck Norris on their ass.” That evening, any time there was a lull in the conversation, someone would karate chop out and holler “Jackie Chan.” I cried and peed a little every time. (See, I told you that you had to be there.)
A week later I was in Kentucky for the Maker’s Mark Mile and the Jackie Chan comment was thrown about often. And I do mean often. It just blossomed into something that cracks me up every single time I hear it.
Best part of this weekend? Winning one of Dave2’s prizes over at his 5th Blogiversary party! Yay!!! I won a t-shirt and pins. Scha-weeeeet! Thanks so much for entertaining us, Dave. I can’t wait to have a drink with you in Philly this weekend. And I would be willing to bet that the shirt finds its way to a half nekkid Thursday. hehe
I also found out that one can make temporary tattoos at home:
(Kyra said this isn’t the best product, but it would be a start to get me in the right direction. Thanks, pretty lady!)
ANYhow, this weekend I didn’t do a damn thing. Even though there is more than lots to do. And you know what? It felt great. Seems like it is going to be a long time before I get to do nothing again.
Hope your weekend was fantastic. I know someone’s was. *giggling*
Ever since I can remember I have had very vivid dreams. Crazy, bizarre and and rarely boring dreams. When I was younger they were always in black and white, but once I wondered if I could dream in color it was like the scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Technicolor kicks in. Kinda funny because now I can’t remember my last black and white dream.
One thing that I love is the way I sometimes am able to pull events from my surroundings into the dream that I am having. A few times his gentle snoring has become the rhythmic sounds of ocean waves. Several weeks ago I was sleeping on the couch, dreaming about something or other, when Matt Lauer showed up in my dream. He was informing me about a political issue while not wearing a shirt. When I woke up the Today show was on my TV and Matt Lauer was discussing the same political issue (except he was in a suit…boooo. Small aside: Matt Lauer has a sixpack. Nice.). Although it is not always a good thing because another time I was running from an attacker and when I woke up CSI Special Victims was on.
I also can wake up from a spectacular dream, look at the clock and decide that I have plenty of time to sleep so I try to go back to the same dream. And when I fall back asleep the same dream picks up exactly where it left off. The most I have ever done that is six times in one night. It might not be a super power, but it is a damn cool talent.
The worst part of having incredibly realistic dreams is that sometimes I cannot tell the difference between dream world and reality. Which means that if I have a dream where a friend wrongs me, I might not realize that it was only a dream so I am angry at them when I wake up. There have been so many times when I have had to ask someone if they did a certain act just so that I can get past my anger.
There have been many instances where I have had a dream where an event happens, only to have it actually happen within 24 hours. Nothing major like the show Medium, nothing even close to that, but little things. It always freaks me out.
Tonight I am going to do my best to dream something hot and sexy about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I could use a dream like that. If I am successful, I’ll let you know!
So, do you dream in color? Do you ever wake up furious with someone for their actions in your dreams? Hell, do you even remember your dreams?
It is almost 3 and I don’t even have a post up today. What a frikken slacker I am sometimes. Although, in my defense, I had a busy week last week. No matter how gorgeous my hotel was, and how comfy the king sized bed was, I didn’t get much sleep in Atlantic City. There was too much Ketel One to be consumed, too many people to watch, too much fun to be had. Oh yeah, and I had to work the trade show floor also. On top of all of that, travel wipes me out.
Don’t feel too sorry for me being tired, though. We had the good fortune of traveling first class this trip…having a limo pick us up in Philly for the drive to Atlantic City, staying in a new, first rate hotel. Every time we went to the convention center the limo delivered us. Normally I am not a fan of limos, but this trip I found myself enjoying having all of us in the same vehicle instead of having to take several cabs. And the free water, pop, pretzels, peanut M & M’s, etc. was a nice touch. Especially when my hungover self needed to refuel.
In an effort to rest so that I don’t get sick (especially with TC coming up), today the dogs and I are really enjoying this relaxing Saturday. There are tons of things that I really need to take care of and I should be cleaning, but my Mom always said “Don’t should on yourself” and I am taking that advice today. Not doing a damn thing. For a long while I was outside with the boys, throwing the ball for Ludo. When it was about to start raining I came inside to dig around in Dave2’s archives. That man is amazing. Here it is his 5th blogiversary and he is giving us prizes. Blogography is such a gift in and of itself, yet he has all kinds of t-shirts and playing cards and buttons and drawings and himself to give. I WANNA WIN!! Mostly to be able to drag Dave all over the Burgh and to have him create a custom artwork image just for me. That would be entirely too cool. Good news is that even if I don’t win the contest I will have the opportunity to meet Dave in Philly next weekend. Guess that is a pretty decent consolation prize.
Speaking of TequilaCon, many of my friends are baffled that I am willing to drive five hours to hang out with 50 to 60 bloggers that I have never met before. Honestly, I appreciate their concern, but some of these people are already friends even if I have never seen them in person before. If they are gonna chop me up in little pieces, I really don’t think it will be done by a blogger at the hotel in Philly. Hell, I have a better chance of a complete stranger strangling me in Philly…that town has a few rough patches!
i appreciate that my friends care. I really do. It is nice to be cared about. Of course, if I ever forget how loved I am, I only need to view this photo that was taken while trying to type to you all:
hehe
Happy Saturday to all.
xoxo
My dear friend Jestertunes has brought to my attention the National Day of Silence.
Today this blog and all Twittering will be silent…
http://www.dayofsilence.org/content/truth.html
So someone promised him boobs if he would get a pedicure. He did, even going so far as to paint the toenails purple. Because he is strong in his ability to rock a vagina masculinity. I got to feeling a little bad that he wasn’t rewarded with boobies because I was certainly rewarded with fall off the chair laughter at his first pedicure. So this half nekkid Thursday post is dedicated to them both (one of the folks I am rooming with at TequilaCon and one of the nutbags that blogging has introduced me to).
Problem is, I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. So I put off taking the photo(s). I’m here in another city, working this trade show and I got to drinking the liquid courage also known as Ketel One. For about 9 hours. Then, after watching the boss and one of my work husbands lose a shitton of money, I started to think what the fuck. I mean, if you can drop three grand per hand, and play two hands at a time, then have the dealer best you at 21, then dammit I can post half nekkid pictures of myself. Drunk girl said it out loud and boss (owner of company) was rather shocked that I was gonna head to the room to take photos on my cellica phone. He confusingly said, “Why are you going to do that?” I simply replied, “Same reason you just dropped six grand on one hand of blackjack. Because I can.” Although I hope that I don’t get Karled, nothing more was said and I retreated alone to my room to quickly take the following.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday, party people…
then
(Ok, I really can’t believe that i did this, but too bad. drunk girl is going to bed and will deal with the ramifications when I wake up. Or maybe I won’t. Oun’t know. Right now I kinda don’t care.)
Here I am in Atlantic City, tired and actually the first one to leave the festivities for bed. (Yes alone, fuckers. Get your minds outta the gutter. Just because I joke about being a total slut doesn’t mean that I truly am. Sheesh.) Apparently there is a website that claims to know my worth in bed. I took the quick quiz and read this:
“Congratulations, you’re worth MORE in bed than the average ($232.15602769299) person taking this quiz!”
Schweet!!! Maybe I was wrong and I really am a who-rrrrrrrrrrrr.
Then I see this:
Powered By Miami Limo
Wait, what??!?!?! Seriously, what the fuck? They are so wrong! I mean, not wrong that i am not a skank, but wrong that I am worth so little. If that skinny bitch could get four grand for one hour with the gov. of New York, I can get more than that. Sigh.
Stupid computer quizzes. Why do I take them again?
(Please tell me that someone took this and are worth less than me. I mean more than me. I mean…fuck. I don’t know which is worse.)
The Pittsburgh Pirates suck so badly that the suckage is audible in Canada. The Buccos were on the wrong end of a 10 to 4 loss on Monday night.
The strange part is that I really don’t care. I love a night at our ballpark, one of the most beautiful parks in the country. My favorite Canadian was down from never never land where he resides. He was staying with my Security Blanket, my Wubbie, and his wife. Plus their four kids. Yep, FOUR. Whew! Somehow they managed to get someone to stay with the small army of kids so that we could catch the Pirates game. Here is a photo of the three of them at the game:
I made my Favorite Canuck wear a Pirates hat in the colors of his beloved Habs (he received hockey up-dates frequently from home…Montreal won so he was elated). It was a hat from the Fourth of July, but I didn’t tell him that.
We ate sammiches, drank beer, talked and laughed. It was so much fun that honestly I didn’t even really mind that the Buccos were losing. I mean, we were at the most beautiful ballpark in the country. And these are some of the best men I know. You folks have heard me complain about some of the men at trade shows, but these are the men who redeem my faith in men. I would do anything for either of them. And they always take care of me.
An interesting moment occurred early in the evening when we had just met and were having a few beers in the parking lot before the game. I had given my Favorite Canuck his ‘welcome to Pittsburgh’ presents (hockey related gear) and we were standing around, getting caught up with the festivities that we all had recently experienced. The boys told me about last week in Vegas for a show, I told them about my Maker’s Mark weekend. When I got to the part about getting the Strong Woman tattoo on the day that Mom had died, my Wubbie got sort of quiet and asked what the date was. Turns out his Dad died last year on the very same day.
Are you shitting me? The man who allowed me to curl up in his arms and wish the world away two years ago, who is so kind and sensitive about my feelings regarding Mom, this man had his Dad pass on the very same day one year after my Mudder did? Pass another beer, please.
Anyhow, after the game we ran over to the Hard Rock so Canadianboy could grab his souvenir. We were going to ride the incline, but someone is afraid of heights (I am not naming which one of you, but you know who you are!) so we decided to save that for the next visit. Since we all had to be up early, and since Wubbie’s babysitter had a curfew, we parted ways for the night. But not before making them listen to the drunk dialing messages that I have received from them over the last month. Wish I could get that shit on the internet for you guys…funny stuff.
I am leaving on a jet plane in the morning. Will be in Atlantic City for a few days. Should get a story or two outta this adventure. Wish my liver luck.
Oh wait! Before I go, I should hold true to my word yesterday about posting about my boobs. I took this at the ball game. Don’t worry, you will get better for Half Nekkid Thursday. Until then, deal with it.
Fathairyratbastardcocksuckingdouchebagpieceofshit lost my post. Granted it was nothing earth shattering, but still! That is the first time wordpress got hungry for a post of mine. Hopefully it will be the last. (Ever the optimist!)
Fortunately for me, the lovely and talented Miss Britt is having me guest post over at her place today. Poor pretty lady is all about sick and a half. What she has up is something I wrote a little while ago, but I still need to hear what you have to say.
If you haven’t already been there, please head over and give me your opinion on the situation.
(Yeah, yeah. I know. You were probably already over at Britt’s and just stopped by to check my new little blog out. Well, welcome. You are very appreciated. Feel free to leave me any suggestions or constructive criticism. Thanks for swinging by.)
P.S. Because I know you were so very interested in the post that my wordpress ate, here is a photo of my gorgeous betta fish, Herkimer. Jester thinks my cousin’s dragon tattoo should be Herk, but how can he when my beautiful boy already owns that name?
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