Hi. You probably know me as hellohahanarf from my years of commenting around the world wide internetz, yet never having a blog. Well my friends, that has changed. Welcome to MY site.
I hadn’t intended on writing a birthday post…didn’t even bring a laptop here to Florida. But this fancy schmancy new phone makes it possible. And I feel so blessed to be alive, so thankful to be me. So here I am, typing on a tiny keyboard in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping.
But I fell asleep on the couch with the TV still on and woke up to find a movie I first viewed with my Mom on my birthday (after a Chinese meal that left us both with sides that hurt from laughter and a serious appreciation of hot peppers). Mom insisted that even though she had already seen Thelma and Louise, it was still the movie we *had* to see that day. She wasn’t sure when our schedules would again make it possible for us to get to the theater together and it was important to her that we saw it on the big screen, larger than life. Mom loved strong women and felt strongly (absolutely demanded) that I needed to view Thelma and Louise. Despite the ending, we both left that theater practically bursting with joy at just being women, just being alive. It instantly shot to my top five list of favorite flicks.
Waking up a bit ago to find TBS showing Thelma and Louise on my birthday is yet another in my life’s incredible synchronicities. Especially when I throw in the fact that both women in the flick picked up new hats and this weekend both Britt and I also bought hats.
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One doesn’t hang out with Britt for any length of time without being forced to look in a mirror every once in a while. She is an inquisitive creature, always seeking to be the best person she can be, taking traits / habits she appreciates from those around her (whereas I just sort of stagger blindly though my life, content in the knowledge that I am happy, content and not hurting anyone, but never bothering to attempt to improve me).
So the questions come…do you have any insecurities, how did you get to be so confident, is being a strong (single) woman really about relying only on yourself, are you really that confident, etc. I never think of these things, but I have to sort of self analyze in order to respond and hold up my end of the conversation, otherwise there would be an awkward silence, ya know? Even if it feels strange to talk about myself all “wahoo, I fucking rock and you should all be like me, raise your kids to be like me and oh by the way, I have no fucking clue how I got to be the way I am” I find myself pondering questions that I never ask myself.
Today I realized (yet again…slow learner!) that it really all does go back to Mom and God. I will never be alone because God is always with me (I don’t need to be in a pretty building to communicate with him) and my Momma was a pretty damned tremendous woman who gave me gifts I never realized she was giving.
July 5th is my birthday. The one thing I want with all my heart is to hug my Mom tightly and say thank you. She not only gave me life 39 years ago, but Mom ensured I would live with a grateful heart and a happy song as my journey’s soundtrack. I miss her desperately.
Especially since she would have not only appreciated the creativity and talent that it took to make the stained glass effect Independence Day shirt I am wearing in this photo, but she would look at me with those Mom eyes and say I look beautiful (“on anyone else, no…but you? Absolutely beautiful!”).
May you all have someone who looks at you and always sees your best.
Got an invite from a friend to go on her friend’s boat for the evening. I haven’t been out on my beloved rivers in a boat in ages. This afternoon I feel all giddy, like a kid awaiting Christmas morning.
EDIT:Oh yeah…just like that, plans change. Seems the storms showed up sooner than we expected. Instead of being out on the water during the lightening show, we’ll do dinner and act like idiots elsewhere. See, Twitter would have been the better placce for this announcement. heehee
I colored my hair Tuesday night. The guy who does the coloring, I call him “The Hedge” is good, fast, great fun and reasonably priced. I love going to see him and I used to HATE, like crazy white hot passion hate, going to get my hair cut or colored. The coloring started the month I turned 30 when someone let us three drunk women loose in Wal-Mart. All that tequila impacted our thinking and I woke up a redhead (as opposed to my natural light brown, blonde, red mix). I liked it so I decided to keep it. These days it hides a bunch of silver hair so there is that added bonus as well.
Anyhow, back to the other night. I sent the most unflattering photo up to Twitter while the color was still on. Several folks wanted to see after photos. My Blackberry took a way crappy photo and shot it up to Twitter. A few people didn’t think it looked any redder than I normally take it. So I tried to take a few more. Proplem was it was a rather brutal day at the office, I’m exhausted and only have a little mascara on so these photos are ROUGH. But for you, gentle readers, I’m posting them anyhow. (Even if I am wishing I had photoshop to somehow make me look better in em.)
Can you see the red now?
Maybe closer?
Closer?
Fuck. Why am I posting these again? Hit publish before I change my mind…
I realized that yesterday’s post never got around to making the point that corresponded to the title that I had given the post. (Yes, I write the title before even starting the actual post.) There was something heartbreaking about my cousin Jane’s handwritten letter and I never circled back to mention it.
Jane ended her wonderful note by saying that she knows I am busy and running around so she didn’t expect me to write back. Man, that tore me to shreds. When did that happen? When did I get too busy for one of my favorite people in the world to have to say it was ok for me to ignore her? NO ONE should ever be that busy. There is NO SUCH THING as that fucking busy.
So there. I’ve explained the title to yesterday’s post and also told you how I am obviously made of vast amounts of the suck. Fortunately I am loved and will be forgiven for being a bad friend. Again!
Now I need to get to planning a late winter getaway. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
See that gorgeous woman in that photo? That would be my beloved cousin, Baby Jane. She comments here as Janie and just so happens to be one of my favorite people on this big ole ball we call earth. LOVE her. When we were younger I threatened all of my guy friends with bodily harm if they disrespected or hurt her. Although she never lived in Pittsburgh, we were always the best of friends and would visit often.
But the best part of being friends with Janie is that she would write letters. Often. Handwritten, long and funny letters would show up and my asshole self would rarely return the sentiment. While it might have bothered her, she never let on, instead just writing another letter to tell me about a boy she liked or how school was or to share a fantasy about our shared crush, Sylvester Stalone.
(What? DO NOT JUDGE. We were teenagers in the 80’s and Sly was ripped in First Blood, Rambo and the brazillion Rocky movies. Oh how we adored him. Besides, we have extremely different taste in men what with Janie loving smooth pretty boys while I was loving big hairy men and Sly was the only one we could agree on. Stalone had the power to unite, people! Sigh.)
Where was I? Oh yes, I was mentioning that Jane was a terrific pen pal. Some things never change. Recently when my mail arrived there was the unmistakable handwriting addressing the letter to me. Right there on my front stoop I did the happy girl wiggle and probably squeeeeed. Loudly.
The dogs had to pee so I quickly got into the house, got them outside and then tore into Jane’s letter. It thrilled me that she wrote again.
I need to see her again. Soon. I mean, the woman’s laugh is infectious. And I miss it. Besides, Florida isn’t that far.
This year, like all years past, I have so very much to be thankful for. I started to wrote a list of things that I am thankful for, but life just has too much awesomeness to capture in a blog list. Of course family and friends would be on the list, as would my dogs and my house, but after that where does one draw the line? Especially when there is stuff like this Muppets video to make me smile and give thanks that there are such talented and creative people in the world…
The lovely Melissa Francis, published author, MILF and all around phenomenal woman, was kind enough to gift me with the Kreativ Blogger Award. I love awards, so much so that I don’t seem to mind the stupid misspelling of this one. Seems she likes me, she really likes me! Wheeeeeeeeee!
Without further ado, and with no more trashing of the award name, here are the rules for the award:
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting. (see below)
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.
Thanks given, logo up, linkies done…and now I am to name seven things that yinz might find interesting. Are you serious? I am an open book and probably have already written about all my interesting crap before now (I take my own washcloths when I travel and don’t stay at a hotel, my bra is big enough to fit a grown woman’s entire head, I keep my Mom’s ashes in my spare bedroom, etc.). What is new that you might want to know? Let’s try these:
Roses are my least favorite flower (I prefer daisies and sunflowers ANY day).
When I was about 20 or 21 years old I walked around the block naked in a rain storm.
Most nights I sleep on my incredible couch with both dogs instead of in my brand new queen sized bed.
I don’t talk to my biological father, but his brother is my favorite person in this whole world.
My Mom’s mom would read my palm when she got to drinking beer at family reunions when I was little. And I got my ears pierced at a family reunion by an aunt using a needle and a potato when I was five.
While I truly don’t care what most people think of me (clothing, body, attitude, financial status, etc.), I also rarely believe people when they tell me that I am a breath of fresh air…probably because so many people tell me that so often that it seems insincere.
My house is my (VERY messy / dirty) sanctuary and I don’t like to let anyone in…family, friends, workers, no one.
For a long time I thought I didn’t know how to flirt until it was pointed out that I flirt with EVERYONE, including men, women, children and animals.
Shit, now I need to nominate others? Don’t people hate memes and awards and chain mail? Well, rules are rules so I am nominating and linking:
Britt of Miss Britt (you all know her, but she so deserves this award so I am giving it)
BBM of Burgh Baby (she takes wonderful photos of her child and dogs, but writes in a manner that gets me every time)
Nanna of That’s a Nanna (the woman makes me feel like I am reading a blog my Mom would have written so there was just no way to leave her off of this list!)
Yes, I know that was eight for both facts and bloggers, but there I go, being all Kreativ. I mean, I could have kept going. You are lucky I stopped where I did. Especially with the bloggers. Sheesh…what about Finn, Hilly, etc.? Hate this limited naming crap.
Fuck, now I have to leave comments on the nominated bloggers’ sites? Good thing I read these folks daily anyhow!
