Learning
Ξ June 22nd, 2009 | → 13 Comments | ∇ me, ramblings, sharing too much, train wreck |
Remember back in February when I was sick and at the grocery store when a guy asked me out and I was questioning his sanity / taste in women? Remember how yinz all lost your shit on me? Well, something similar happened yesterday.
I had major bed hair and didn’t even shower, just woke up late, called Aunt Tinkle Twat to see if she wanted to do breakfast somewhere because I didn’t want to be alone, threw on a black spaghetti strap tank top along with my jean crappie pants and flip flops, then headed out to pick up Tinkle.
Her boyfriend wanted us to run to Lowe’s or Home Depot for some stuff so instead of going to Pamela’s down in the Strip we decided on Cracker Barrel out in Robinson. As we started up 60 I changed my mind and decided I wanted more of a diner so we jumped on 79 and BOOM, there we were at the best place in Pittsburgh (next to Pamela’s) for breakfast. There were even two seats at the counter open! I was all about happy.
Tink and I were talking and loudly laughing, even though outwardly we were both pretty much disasters…her with half of her hair plastered to her face and the other half standing straight out, me with my hair all Medusa like. (And I do mean laughing. The deep, belly laugh that almost causes me to bend over to grasp my sides, but then my face would have been in my S’mores pancakes.).
Then this guy came in with his young son, waiting for a table. Tink thought he kept staring at me, I said who wouldn’t with jacked up hair like mine. I exchanged smiles and glances and all with the attractive older man, then when it came time to pay we were both at the register at the same time. He introduced himself and we had a little chit chat. I blushed when he called me pretty, secretly thinking he must be crazy because HELLO, HAVE YOU SEEN MY HAIR THAT SCREAMED FRESHLY FUCKED OR SLEPT ON??!?! (The higher the hair, the closer to God!) When he said he would like to buy me lunch or dinner sometime, I heard all of you yelling at me about dismissing the guy back in February so I found myself agreeing to go out with him. We exchanged numbers and I practically ran back to Tinkle, all the while thinking this seemingly normal guy must be a freak.
So here is my dilemma. Is he crazy / needy / lonely on Father’s Day / an axe murderer who stares at women until they are intrigued or is he a nice guy who just was out with his son on Father’s Day and saw someone he was attracted to?
And if it is the latter? Well, I don’t trust anyone who is attracted to an un-showered Medusa me. I mean obviously he ain’t right in the head, right?
Ok, I am done rambling. Point is I listened to you fuckers and didn’t tell this dude that he is obviously fucked up if he hit on me Sunday morning. So if I do actually go out with him and I find myself chopped up in little pieces, in his freezer while he wears my hair as a wig? IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT, INTERNET.
on June 22nd, 2009 at 11:17 AM
You sounded so Dooce in that last paragraph! And I mean that in a good way, btw. I’m not a Dooce hater.
Aaannnywaaay, I bet you looked fine. And being relaxed and laughing? Sexy. You are sexy.
But ifyou want me to run a background check on this guy, let me know.
on June 22nd, 2009 at 11:31 AM
You light up a room just being you. He would have been crazy NOT to be attracted to you.
on June 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 PM
Cant says i blame you for being somewhat concerned, but there are alot of guys who find women who look comfy and are relaxed far more approachable the when gals are all glammed up and out on the town. The ones who are about natural pretty not pretty from 5 hours in front of a mirror…and arent those the ones that you want to be asking you out? give the guys a chance…..just carry some mace in your purse just in case…
on June 22nd, 2009 at 12:30 PM
Heh. BTW – that was the best voicemail about this story EVER.
Maybe what he saw was your smile, dumbass. At least you ACTED like you weren’t nuts this time.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..A Shmairy Tale
on June 22nd, 2009 at 12:57 PM
You just have a certain swagger that people are attracted to….I have seen it up close and personal, and it’s like lightning!!
When you decide to bottle it up and sell it, I will be your 1st customer.
Robin’s last blog post..In Tribute….
on June 22nd, 2009 at 3:14 PM
It was you, baby, all you! It was your beautiful personality and I’ll bet he was thinking, “I want to hear that laugh again.”
You’ll be fine. And if not? I’ll hunt the fucker down and gut him myself.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..They’re Baaaaack!
on June 22nd, 2009 at 6:10 PM
WHOA! Where to begin? Let’s start with those S’mores pancakes. How exactly does that work? Is Nutella involved?
Moving on, admit that even when you look all messy and jacked up, you’re still one hot tamale. Let the poor man buy you a meal. Perhaps even s’mores pancakes…
Finally, will you please tell that step dad cop voice in your head to quit telling you people want to chop you up?!?!? I love that man, but he’s seen too much. Most blind dates don’t kill you. And this isn’t even a blind date. Just take the usual precautions and you’ll be fine.
Enjoy the pancakes! xoxo
on June 22nd, 2009 at 7:32 PM
ooh i love this!
on June 22nd, 2009 at 7:44 PM
Yay! I think it’s awesome!
Just make sure to twitter your locations, etc at all times during the date. Just in case. :P
Sybil Law’s last blog post..Love Is Forever.
on June 22nd, 2009 at 11:28 PM
Yay for dates!
I have one this weekend. But this isn’t about me is it?
Sarah’s last blog post..Lunch
on June 23rd, 2009 at 7:51 AM
I think slept-in hair, when it’s long, is actually pretty hot.
Avitable’s last blog post..The Other Pevensie
on June 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 AM
You would be a hottie if you were dressed in a trashbag! Seriously! No wonder he was all in your grill!
I would go out with him. At least for coffee.
Good luck!
on June 24th, 2009 at 2:51 PM
Sooooo…..did he call?
p.s. I’m totally attracted to you (in a friendshippy way)and I don’t even know you. You just look like you are a lot of fun to be around!
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Little, Part Three