Someone Must Explain To Me
Ξ February 24th, 2009 | → 25 Comments | ∇ me |
After work on Monday I did a quick run to the grocery store. Only needed a few items (basics like Townhouse crackers coz those little elves know what the hell they are doing, cheese, chips, salsa, granola bars and Dannon fruit on the bottom yogurt) so I was in a pretty good mood. Even though I was thisclose to my death bed (thanks, stupid bronchitis), I knew it would be a fast trip through the store and then I could get home to my couch, a comforter and two canine heaters. Guess I was in a pretty good mood even though I was sick.
I parked in a reasonably far away spot and enjoyed the cold air as I walked to the store. Apparently I was smiling because an adorable (and toothless) ancient dark, dark woman smiled at me. I nodded and we exchanged hellos. When I went for a cart a middle aged woman was doing the same. We also exchanged smiles and good afternoons. I must have had a goofy grin on my face because everyone I encountered in produce either nodded and smiled or simply smiled at me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I was having a terrific hair day, but I was all kinds of sick. My voice sounded like a man’s would if he were 80 and smoked two packs a day. The face was all kinds of red. Not a lick of makeup, unless you consider ChapStick makeup. We are talking not looking my best. Long, long way away from attractive.
And yet a good looking middle aged man in a suit kept smiling at me as he would come up the aisles I was in. I smiled the same hello that I had given everyone else. He started a conversation. Over the fucking peanut butter (I do give him credit for liking JIF) he starts small talk. Then he asks me out.
Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? I look like death on a stick, sound a lot like my grandfather on a bad day, am buying insane amounts of yogurt so that my antibiotics don’t jack up my feminine parts and he wants to ask me out?
Lemme go with no.
Took everything I had not to ask him why a woman would go out with a man who clearly has low standards. Don’t get me wrong, I am great and wonderful and all that jazz, but dude! Sick!
Why do men seem to flock to me on my worst days? Clearly they have issues. Can anyone explain the bizarre phenomenon? Anyone else encounter the same insanity?
(And no, I am not posting a photo of how crappy I look today. Just take my word on that one, k?)
on February 24th, 2009 at 12:38 AM
I love Fruit on the Bottom yogurt. I used to choke down the shitty plain yogurt on top just so I could eat the fruit part.
Avitable’s last blog post..Why I will never use 1-800-FLOWERS again
on February 24th, 2009 at 1:29 AM
Speaking of peanut butter (since you won’t post a pic of your sick self), I picked up some chocolate bars and White Chocolate Wonderful Peanut Butter from Peanut Butter & Co. when I went out earlier tonight.
Um, delish!
B.E. Earl’s last blog post..20 Albums
on February 24th, 2009 at 6:02 AM
Hmmm, strange people smiling at you, feeling like death on a stick, strange men hitting on you while browsing peanut butter… are you sure you were wearing pants? Pantslessness would explain the situation, that sounds like everyday that I forget the pants.
on February 24th, 2009 at 6:15 AM
i get what you’re saying. for me it’s that oh so freakin special time of the month when i get all the compliments.
j’s a former ranger and so were two of my co-workers at the grocery store i used to work at. after a while i began to think it had something to do with them all being former rangers and the smell of blood.
on February 24th, 2009 at 6:52 AM
….you know why? Because you were smiling, and even though you were sick as a dog, your energy was cool – it sucks to be asked out when you look like shit, but at the same time if he’s hot, why not go for it? You can show him how hot you are when you’re not all sick and stumbling…
Robin’s last blog post..20 Albums That Changed My Life….
on February 24th, 2009 at 9:30 AM
The whole peanut butter part alone sends off warning signs that he is a serial killer.
Maybe he’s responsible for the Salmonella!!!
NYCWD’s last blog post..Believe
on February 24th, 2009 at 9:40 AM
I really thought this story was going to end with something along the lines of “and then I realized I wasn’t wearing a bra/had toilet paper trailing from my shoe etc etc”
I guess you just had some good vibes going..
xo
Princess of the Universe’s last blog post..Beacause Everyone Else Is Doing It…
on February 24th, 2009 at 11:02 AM
I think I am alone in this but why does it have to be that he has low standards? Maybe he just is one of those guys who likes his women more REAL instead of perfectly fake. Also, I agree with what Robin said…you were smiling and probably confident like always and that my dear, is sexy.
Hilly’s last blog post..Your Puppet On A String…
on February 24th, 2009 at 11:29 AM
I agree, it’s because you were smiling and confident. Personally, I’m not a fan of makeup at all. It’s more important to me to see how the woman REALLY looks, that is, without makeup. Anyone can look good with $10 of crap on her face, it takes a really hawt woman to look good with only $0.02 of chapstick on.
Confident and happy is always more attractive than perfectly made-up.
on February 24th, 2009 at 12:27 PM
I don’t usually get hit on when I’m out… UNLESS I have not a stitch of makeup on. Then it’s like I’m wearing a sign that says, “Easy.”
The only answer I can think of is that we look more human, more approachable at those times. Not so scary. Not that you’re scary, but you know what I mean. You were a bit vulnerable.
Finn’s last blog post..I’m On To Something Here–I Think
on February 24th, 2009 at 2:23 PM
I agree with Hilly.
Also, my husband finds me most attractive when I am in need of a shower and feeling gross. Never could understand it!
Sybil Law’s last blog post..Sniper Dreams
on February 24th, 2009 at 7:42 PM
I choose not to be nice…you my friend, are a douche. In German.
But I love you.
on February 24th, 2009 at 8:27 PM
avitable -
wait. what? i have never heard of anyone eating dannon yogurt from the top to the bottom. (i stir it up…hate that plain crap on the top so i mix it up VERY well before eating.)
earl -
tell me more about this alleged White Chocolate Wonderful Peanut Butter. sounds like something i should know about.
that guy -
well i would have noticed the draft at some point. i am positive i was wearing pants. a shirt, too!
heather -
it is wrong how hard i laughed at the rangers smelling blood comment. that’s funny right there, i don’t care who you are!
robin -
my energy was cool. love that description. thank you.
dawg -
what the fuck are you talking about??!?!! peanut butter is good food! i mean, it is no cereal, but still!
princess of the universe -
if either of those things happened, he might have asked me to marry him right there. hehe
hilly -
pretty sad that i never considered that.
markmier -
thanks for the other point of view. i now feel bad that i looked at the poor man like he had three heads and a short arm.
(note to self: chapstick = priceless)
finn –
as i said in my email, i can’t quit laughing that you called me not so scary!
(funny that when i work trade shows i always call mascara and lipstick my “battle paint” that i can hide behind.)
sybil -
does your husband like peanut butter? according to dawg, he might be a serial killer. hehe
cinderella -
but am i a douche in spanish? norwegian? finnish? russian? polish?
(yes, it seems you guys are all correct. i was an ass and didn’t realize it. live and learn.)
on February 24th, 2009 at 10:12 PM
Hilly took my comment.
You give guys whiplash just walking by.
Turnbaby’s last blog post..A Single Moon Drop In The Grass
on February 24th, 2009 at 10:44 PM
It’s your aura, dear. You exude confidence and happiness and all that bubbly shit. Plus you’re hot as hell.
P.S. Do you feel better tonight? Send me some drugs?
Stephanie’s last blog post..Checklist of Doom.
on February 25th, 2009 at 8:27 AM
Are you fucking kidding me?
Do you have any idea how rare it is to come upon truly HAPPY people in this world? Do you honestly still not get that THAT is your biggest, most unique and powerful gift to everyone you encounter?
And do you know how awesome it is to come upon a man who values THAT over, say, makeup?
I want to punch you a little right now.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..With Bated Breath
on February 25th, 2009 at 10:44 AM
I’m with Hilly. You’ve got a vibrant personality and looking like crap or not, I’m sure it comes through. I think it’s refreshing that a guy would ask a woman out when she’s not all glammed up. Maybe go back to the store and hang around the peanut butter. ;-)
Black Belt Mama’s last blog post..Yet Another Reason to Boycott McDonald’s
on February 25th, 2009 at 11:21 AM
I think lots of times we think we look like ass because we feel like ass but in reality people are fixating on our ass because we are hot.
on February 25th, 2009 at 12:06 PM
Like many others have said – happiness and confidence are huge turn-ons. That’s totally what it was.
Courtney’s last blog post..Mmmm, Sweet Potato
on February 25th, 2009 at 12:35 PM
Well OBVIOUSLY he had seen you before, woman! Either that or he loves your hoarse voice!
Feel bettah!
DutchBitch’s last blog post..You can call me “Mystery Special Guest”
on February 26th, 2009 at 8:17 AM
turn -
ok, that is going a little far! (but thank you.)
stephanie -
“bubbly shit” made me laugh. which turned into a cough. so i am gonna go with nope, my drugs aren’t helping. sorry, darlin.
britt -
gee pat, i would like to buy a clue. vanna, turn it over. sigh.
(cinderella is happy that you also wanna punch me. she thinks too many people are being nice to me when i behaved like an ass.)
black belt momma -
yeah, i am totally feeling like a tool for behaving so poorly. but i honestly thought he was flawed with low standards. bad, bad becky.
crys -
chicago is lucky that i don’t feel well because you and i loose in that town tonight has serious potential to bring down the roof!
courtney -
amazing that it takes the internet whacking me over the head for me to recognize what is apparently obvious to everyone else.
dutchbitch -
now i REALLY feel like an ass…never thought he might have seen me before. the grocery store is less than a mile from my house. oh i really suck!
(any wonder why i am still single??!?!?!!)
hello haha narf’s last blog post..For Britt’s Mom
on February 26th, 2009 at 1:11 PM
“You had me at JIF” Best. Peanut. Butter. Ever.
I think people see the real person, not the person that we see in the mirror.
martymankins’s last blog post..Snowy Sunday #14
on February 26th, 2009 at 8:26 PM
Did it occur to you that you exceed most standards even when you are at your worst because you’re one of the most exceptional people on the planet? I’m just saying, think about it.
Faiqa’s last blog post..Somebody’s Gonna Get A Hurt Real Bad
on March 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 PM
martymankins -
creamy jif or chunky?
faiqa -
you might have just won best comment ever. seriously. that was fucking phenomenal.
(and cinderella now knows why i blog. coz incredible people say such fine things about me!)
on June 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 AM
[...] back in February when I was sick and at the grocery store when a guy asked me out and I was questioning his sanity / [...]