Picking Up Strangers in Vegas

Ξ October 11th, 2008 | → 8 Comments | ∇ alcohol, travel, work |

You guys know me by now…I’ll talk to anyone. I love people. Doesn’t matter where I am, if someone gives me eye contact, smiles or seems lost, I’m going to attempt to start a conversation. Mom was the same way so I come by it honestly, but my job in marketing has kind of encouraged the behavior.

Friday after work while getting happy (Small aside: who the fuck invented “happy hour” anyhow??? I like being happy for more than a damn hour!), I engaged into conversation the very married guy a few bar stools down. Turns out he is moving his wife and baby to Pittsburgh from Vegas. He is looking for housing where my new COO is moving. Yep, COO moves in Saturday and this guy might also live there. Too cute. I never would have learned of the synchronicity if I would have kept my mouth shut and just talked to my coworkers. Instead I was able to hook him up with fun stuff to do in Pittsburgh and also with his potential new neighbor. Way cool.

In line at the Bellagio’s buffet, Cinderella and I overheard the cute, bald and muscular guy behind us paying for one. Of course you know we invited him to dine with us, right? Yep, we did. At first he was hesitant, as well he should have been, but quickly he warmed up and decided that the three of us should enjoy the buffet together.

Blake was great fun, intelligent, outgoing, well built and all around terrific dinner company. Cinderella and I whispered that he was a “twice on Sunday” kind of guy (you know, so hot that you would do him twice on Sunday).

And then we really got to talking to him. Turns out he has been dating his girlfriend for all of four months (FOUR!), which somehow made him able to tell Cinderella and me that we were single because we hadn’t read the book that “helped” him. And then he kept talking about the book. (“No really, I don’t need him twice on Sunday. How about you take him on Sunday? Today, too.”)

Seems this book talks about the five languages of love and Blake thinks that I need to know what kind of man I want or I will stay single forever. Seems that I need to identify what keeps my love tank full and that I need to find a partner who can fill my love tank. He says love is conveyed in the form of gifts (“buying presents”) or by acts of service (“fix the broken handle” or “cook dinner”) or in quality time or physical touch or in words of affirmation (“you look so pretty” or “you are smart” or whatever) and that unless I know what type of man I want, I will forever be single. Totally seriously I told him that the reason I was single is because I wanted a man to be all of those things for me, not just one. Blake didn’t seem to appreciate that I was VERY serious, but that’s ok. I mean, he is reading self help books and I was amused by him reading self help love books so the conversation kept moving along, him all the time talking about what “fills your love tank” until finally Cinderella and I had had enough. “You wanna know what fills my love tank? I’ll tell you. A deep, deep dicking. THAT will fill my love tank.”

Hehe! I could totally hear Hilly in my head, hear her giggle, “Deep, deep dicking!”

All in all, Blake was really cool. We discussed how he can get his girlfriend to swallow and how he can convince her to try anal sex. I couldn’t help but suggest a few moves for him. Blake let me take a few photos of him, one of which I will post on Thursday seeing as how he was kind enough to show me some nipple and one that you see below.

(I know you are reading this, Blake. Thanks for the terrific dinner company and incredible laughs. Cinderella and I won’t forget you…that was one hell of a meal!)