The drive in was a blast last night. Tinkle Twat and her daughter (the bride from yesterday’s post) went with me to see the new Indiana Jones movie. I was so sad that aliens arrived in the Indy film. Couldn’t they have changed the characters’ names and just called it “Return of the Crystal Skull” and have a summer blockbuster? Why bring down Indy with something that is so not his style? I left seriously sad. And only a little tipsy. (LOVE the drive in!!)
Spent almost an hour on the phone after the drive in with a great friend who was haaaaaaaammered. Make no mistake about it, dude could barely speak. We are talking so intoxicated that he knew he needed a hotel room instead of driving home. But he was bored and mad that I wasn’t as drunk as he was. So I got the “I love you, man. Come drink with me. Lets do a shot. C’mon, you are only ten minutes from here. Lets drink together.” I told his bored and drunk ass to go to sleep. He said he wasn’t tired. Anyone wanna guess what I told him to do?
Whack it, jack it and pee on the floor. hehe
Needless to say, I didn’t go out drinking more, but I still didn’t go right to sleep. Which means I was beyond tired this morning when I had to get up and pick up Tinkle Twat and Bride so that we could get the first fitting outta the way. Twinkle Twat met us as well. After the meeting with the seamstress it was off to breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Yum! We discussed as many wedding details as we could stand, then headed over to COSTCO. More wedding talk.
For the non shopping, not all about weddings kinda girl that I am, it was still a wonderful day. Especially when we talked to Twinkle’s Momma about her taking the lead on food for the reception. Because, get this, she offered to pay for it all as a wedding present. Cake, too! Bride and I couldn’t believe our ears. Thankfully I had pulled over or I seriously would have crashed my vehicle.
So the day was getting better and better. And now? Better still. Coz I am about to jump in the shower and head to dinner. Before the Penguins game.
Ladies and gentlemen, that would be a Stanley Cup Playoff game. Waaaaaaaa fucken hooooooooo!
LET’S GO PENS!!!
All of Thursday evening was spent at David’s Bridal. Dress after beautiful dress being brought out. Get naked, squeeze into the gorgeous white creation, rip it off and try on another. They were all so pretty, which to choose? Ahhhh, yes. The stunning simple and classic strapless gown. White and some sort of champagne color. Although there was another strapless gown which fit like a glove right off the rack…strapless and white with stunning red embroidered flowers. It was too difficult to actually make the decision last night, but after much thought and talking about it, it was easy to recognize the right dress for the occasion.
The occasion is a wedding in a little under a month. Not a huge wedding, less than 60 people, but still planning something that needs to happen in LESS than a month ain’t easy. Sure, many folks want to assist, but there is only so much that others can do. And the time frame is brutal.
But the groom is in the Marines, currently stationed in NC and volunteered for a second tour in Iraq. The military of course was happy to accommodate his request. He leaves in early September and cannot be given leave right before he goes. Leave for him can only happen the last week in June and he needs to be back in NC on the 30th. They won’t tell him yet exactly which day he can get his ass to Pittsburgh and PA law says both bride and groom must be present to fill out papers. After papers they must wait three days.
It is important for the wedding to happen before he leaves for Iraq. Which means the wedding will be on a Wednesday or a Thursday. A midweek wedding that needs to be planned in less than a month. On a less than shoestring budget.
Thankfully, I am only helping with this exciting event. I get to throw all kinds of ideas on the table and watch my beautiful young cousin sort through them. She is stressed, but doing a wonderful job with an overwhelming task. At 20 years of age so many folks would be unrealistic, even given the situation, but she is doing quite well. I am so proud of her for so many things.
And it is an honor to be able to assist with the cost of the dress. I’ll help in anyway that I can. Today, tomorrow and forever. Because she is family. But more importantly, she is a friend.
I love you pretty lady. Thank you for including me, for trusting me. I am thrilled to have the means to assist with the dress. You are beautiful and the dress compliments you perfectly. Know how proud I am of you for standing tall in the face of not one but four major life stresses.
You are doing a terrific job.
But you are not alone. Your family is here for you. ALWAYS.
We have your back. We will hold your hand. Even against something that seems as big as the ocean.
I was at work on Wednesday when this email from my bowling league teammate, Dang, hits the ole inbox:
So…..Mr. W (aka the murderer) and I have a small wager going
on. He said one of your boobs weighs more than any one of the
S-W cats. I say that is not a true story. There is Panda to
consider. The bet is one bottle of rum for mojitos!
The question is, Becky, can we weigh one of your boobs??? 
I laughed out loud. Why on earth are they discussing my boobs at their work?!??!! Seriously?
In the S-W household the “S” stands for the real name of my other bowling teammate, Doodle, and the “W” is her husband (referred to as the murderer coz Dang is silly and thought he looked tough when she first met him). Their house is home to SEVEN indoor cats. Fucking seven! They range from a tiny runt nicknamed “Shit” (real name Shitake…well, actually I think Oz might be her real name) to a cat large enough to be a small dog, Furman (nicknamed “Panda”), who is insanely massive. While I am not normally a cat person, I actually really like these cats. They are pretty damn cool. However there is no fucking way one of my boobs weighs more than Panda. For certain I can take Shit. She’s tiny!
It should go without saying that I agreed to weigh my boobs so that they can settle their goofy ass bet. All I asked was that someone hook me up with some mojitos coz I absolutely LOVE me some mojitos. So sometime soon I need to go braless and find a scale in the produce aisle with either Dang or Doodle’s husband or both. hehe
On a different note, since you have all seen my boobs a few times before, this week my contribution to HNT is a part of me that I am not a huge fan of…my feet. I hate feet. Doesn’t matter if they are my own or someone else’s feet, I ain’t a fan. “I’m Not Really a Waitress” red on my toenails helps me deal with my feet, but I totally have feet issues. Don’t touch me with your feet, don’t touch mine. (Well, unless you are HIM and then I will rub your feet and love every minute of it. Or if you are him you could suck my toes and I would beg for more simply because I know he likes feet.) My hate of feet is probably why I love shoes so damn much. It also helped lead to a hysterical post from Mr. Fabulous (if I could have found the fucking post I would have linked to it…note to Fabby, install a search feature).
ANYhow, the other day I got a pedicure (you don’t think I would touch my own feet to paint my toes, do you?) with one of my terrific cousins and I instinctively grabbed my bottle of Waitress Red polish. While trying to help cousin pick a color I found an interesting shade of pink. Certainly I am not a pink kinda girl, but she sometimes is. She liked it, but kept pushing me to branch out from my Waitress loyalty and to try the pink. Damned if I didn’t go outside of the box. Wheeeeeeeeeeee! And here’s the result, my HNT contribution for today:
While I was in the yard trying to snap a photo with my stupid cell phone camera the little German boy came to investigate. Someone decided that he wanted to be in the photo:
NOTE: On a very serious note, one of my beloved blogger buddies, Britt, is in Iowa, helping her family go through rubble for any salvageable items, helping them search for housing, comforting loved ones and in general attempting to assist in the disaster area that is her hometown. The tornado leveled the bulk of the small town and people are scrambling to help. Britt’s Twitter messages and iphone photos are heartbreaking. Please check out her blog for information on how to donate. As soon as she has an address or good info Adam will post it for her. Personally I think the folks need money (maybe AmEx gift cards??), but the Salvation Army is there already helping and they could use donations. Keep an eye on Britt’s place for updates.
After that you will need a smile, so get over to Osso‘s place and check out the other HNT participants (click on his HNT post’s comments and follow the links from there).
Thanks for making it all the way through that looooong ass post. Here’s some more feet porn for ya:
(See, don’t the toes look better red??)
EDITED TO ADD: Oh thank you Sweet Baby Jesus, lying in a manger. Thank you for the Penguins win on Wednesday! While I know that I have petitioned you for assistance in the Parkersburg Tornado Disaster, please, please, please consider that I will be at Saturday’s game and desire another win here at home. You are all powerful and can do both, I just know it. Thank you, thank you!!
Last night I had to get to bowling by 6:45 PM. League play starts at 7 and seeing as how much I suck, I needed a few practice throws. Everyone who knows me understands that I am always, and I do mean always, late. Knowing that so many others would be effected (affected? damn, i hate that one!) if I showed up late, I tried not to stay at work much past my 5 PM quitting time.
At 5:45 I ran out the door, however since my SUV’s gas gauge was well below E there was a gas station stop in my immediate future. Fortunately there is a one on my way home, just over the hill from the office. After I filled the vehicle’s belly I was hanging up the pump when I heard, “Hey, I know you.” My head whipped around to see That Guy about to pump his gas (that’s what Karl said! Ha!).
It was nice to see him and he looks great. LOVE the shaved head look on him. We were bullshitting a bit and I mentioned that I really had to get home to take care of the dogs because I joined a bowling league that plays on Tuesdays. What a surprise it was when he looked at me, half grinned and said, “I know.”
Me, thinking, “Whaa-ha??!”
Yep, I forgot that people “I know” read my blog. I totally forgot. And it was so fun to have him to say that he knew about something because I wrote about it. Someone reads me!!
Then I asked him about the girl with the beautiful eyes who cleaned his house. He offered the same momentary surprised look that was on my face just a moment before. I giggled. See, I read his blog, too.
As I pulled out of the gas station my phone rang. It was my work husband calling. He lives in GA with his gorgeous wife and awesome 100+ kids. Apparently all day we had been too busy to talk so when he finally got a moment he called my cellica phone. I apologized for running out of the office without touching base, explaining that I joined a Tuesday bowling league. His reply? “I know. I just got off your blog.” (Again with the that’s what Karl said!!)
Are you shitting me? In less than 10 minutes, two totally different men from completely different parts of my “real” life knew stuff about me that I hadn’t told them, yet I did tell them. How fucking cool is that?
I like this blogging thing.
Still getting used to it, but really liking it.
Ξ May 27th, 2008 | → 20 Comments | ∇ me |
I’m ready for a change. Never before have I been this heavy and I am done with it. Sure, in the past I have said that it would be nice to drop a few pounds, but it is different now. Then I was still happy and content with how I looked. No more.
Never before have I been a stare in the mirror kind of girl, never have I been into fashion and clothes and all. I can’t imagine that will change no matter how much weight I manage to shed. But still, I want my clothes to fit a little better. My red face will always be round, but my chin doesn’t have to be as full. I love to be naked and it would be nice if I looked a little better when I am running around in nothing but a smile.
Don’t get me wrong, there won’t be much in the way of exercise or anything that will make me sweat (well, other than THAT). Instead I will go the NutriSystem route, one that I tried in the past and it actually worked. Eating remotely healthy foods in “normal” portions worked…surprise, surprise. June brings three out of town trips which will make things a little harder, but I don’t plan on being miserable while I do this anyhow. I plan on not denying myself the pleasure of a wonderful meal, but I am hoping that the NutriSystems prepackaged meals will assist me in the understanding of portion control. And while I am at it, self control.
Fuck, I am growing up… “self control” is something grownups do. Ugggggggh.
Nope, I refuse to think of this that way. I want to be healthier. I want to feel lighter.
And dammit, I will.
Telling you will help. So internet, I won’t look like this in a year. Don’t hate me when I am beautiful.
(Before you all freak the fuck out, yes I am beautiful now. It is just that I want to be beautiful and thinner. Not skinny, but lighter and toner. Thanks for being about to jump my shit, though. xoxo)
Our country is far from perfect. But I am grateful for all that we have. And I am so thankful for the men and women who have died in service in order to offer me the freedoms that I usually take for granted.
Today while I wipe the butter from the corn on the cob from my chin, as I take on my family in a card game, as I walk after parking oh so far away from the movie theater, I will do my best to keep Memorial Day’s true meaning in the forefront of my mind. For some reason this year Memorial Day is hitting me kinda hard. Perhaps it is the presidential election, making me think so long and hard about what it is that this country needs, perhaps it is a great friend almost not coming home alive from Iraq the way his friends didn’t, perhaps it is someone close to me about to marry a Marine who will be leaving soon for his second tour of Iraq…I’m not sure. But it doesn’t matter why. I am just really glad that I am more in touch with this day than I ever have been. Because those who fought for this country deserve it. And so much more.
Hope you are enjoying your holiday weekend.
(P.S. Lets go Pens!!)
NOTE: I did not draw the cartoon. Someone forwarded it to me in an email that had been forwarded a kerjillion times.
Remember BJ and the Bear? How Greg Evigan’s character traveled the country with his pet monkey? Well I was about nine years old or so when the show was popular. (Yes, it was popular, shut up!) A young girl is rather impressionable and a hot guy on a TV show can have an impact.
Not quite 30 years later and here I am with two dogs, but still dreaming of the day when I get my monkey. Are they legal here in Pittsburgh? I am so going to have to check.
Stoopid gas prices are gonna have to come down a bit before I can get my big rig, though…
Hope you all have fun, get a little relaxing in and all around enjoy this long weekend.
No matter what your political views, please take a moment to remember why Monday is a holiday.
Thanks.
Last week was the third anniversary of Half Nekkid Thursdays and we all used three somewhere in our photos. This week brings you another three from me. Not quite sure how these photos started, but I had two lovely (and rather drunk) women star in a few photos with me the last time a camera started flashing…
Happy HNT!
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